Tabula Rasa
by cuppycake547
Summary: This is my version of Twilight, without the extreme character flaws and annoyances. This version contains many OOC characters and more life-like situations. This Bella is strong and wanting to reinvent herself, and maybe find romance along the way.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I'm just borrowing her characters.

**A/N:** So I'm back at and I have the bug for writing. I've been meaning to start a new project and this one just came out of nowhere. I like some aspects of Twilight, but I absolutely dislike how Mrs. Meyer wrote her characters. So, I have taken liberties and upgraded them into more stable characters. They will be OOC and I apologize in advance for inconsistency with updating. This is just a prologue and I want to test the waters before I fully return.

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My eyelashes flutter open as the rising sun filters into the room past the blinds and curtains, bathing dancing dust motes in pale light. It's early morning on my last day in Phoenix before I make the move to Forks. It's my last day to bathe in the magnificent sun before I have to trade it in for the cloudy and overcast skies.

Rolling over on my side to face my window, I contemplate my reasons for giving up on the one place that I know. I am truly too altruistic when it comes to my scatterbrained and childish mother, Renee. I know deep down though, the reason why I want to move is just because I want one chance to cherish my youth while I can. It's not like I resent Renee, not at all. It's just that for once, _I_ want to be the child. For most of my memory, I have always been the one in charge. Bills would have gone months without being paid if it wasn't for me. Renee was never good at domestic chores, so grocery shopping and cooking have always fallen upon my young shoulders. Now that Phil was in her life, I can be sure that Renee will be taken care of and the house won't fall apart. Just for once in my life, I want to make foolish, impulsive choices and just go along for the ride, come hell or high water.

I also want to give the newlyweds some time to be newlyweds. It's frighteningly disturbing to hear your mother "getting it on" with your stepfather when they believe you to be asleep. Countless nights of no sleep and gag-worthy images have left their toll and all I want now is just some nice, quiet sleep. If I had to toss and turn all night one more time, then the dark bags below my eyes would undoubtedly attain bags of their own. I know for sure that my reclusive father Charlie has no bed buddies that I have to worry about.

From the confines of my bed, I cast my eyes about the room, mentally checking off the list of items I have packed for my move to the house of my father, the sheriff of a small town. All is well and my mind is put to ease knowing everything has been done ahead of time. My roaming eyes take purchase of the glowing, red numbers of the clock across the room and I think to myself that I only have a measly four hours before I have to be on the plane departing for the state of good ol' Washington.

Attempting to not seem too eager to leave and upset Renee, I languidly rise from the tangled cocoon of my warm sheets and saunter over to my dresser. I packed all of my clothes last night into my pathetically small suitcase, so the dresser appears skeletal and hollow. Pulling open the top drawer, I reach into its depths and remove my previously set aside outfit. True to my mature and oftentimes perfectionist nature, I have everything planned out in advance, leaving no room for adventure or spontaneity. Puckering my brow, I realize that I have to break this habit if I wished to live the "teenage experience" I so desperately wanted.

Oh well, I sigh in acceptance, I'll start my "New Year's Resolution" when I get to Washington.

Slouching on some comfortable travel attire and foot wear, I briefly look over my appearance in the mirror hanging on the space of wall above the dresser. In the morning sun's light, I see the reflection of a relatively plain seventeen year old girl. She has long, wavy brown hair and rather boring brown eyes. Pale skin and a rather slim, petite physique top off my appearance. I might be plain, but surely there is prettiness in my appearance, hidden somewhere in my straight pearly whites and my pert nose. Fixing my hair into a loose semblance of order, I complete my morning beauty routine in one step.

Satisfied with my casual and natural appearance, I take one last look around the room I've had since childhood, although presently devoid of my belongings. A wave of nostalgia washes over me, but not altogether unpleasant. It's a bittersweet moment, but I know that I won't regret this. I am content with my choice to move. It's a New Beginning, I tell myself. I've wanted to reinvent myself for the longest time.

Reaching out for the polished door knob, I tear my sights from my room and cement myself in my decision. The choice has been made and now I have to come through with it. No more boring Isabella Marie Swan. World, here comes the edgy and impulsive Bella…

With an uncomfortable twitch, I release the door knob and return to the bed, smoothing down the sheets into order. Tweaking the pillows, I give a derisive snort. New Bella will have to wait, at least until Forks. Of course, there are beds to be made and surely it wouldn't hurt to put off my new persona until then… I think. It seems like Old Bella will be harder to leave behind than I thought.

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**A/N: **Thanks for reading! Make sure you leave a comment as to whether or not you think I should continue. I appreciate any and all responses.  
With love,  
cuppycake547


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but there's nothing to keep me from playing with her characters!

**A/N****: **I just want to say thanks to stacypotterblack and mgill32 for being the first reviewers of hopefully many more. I hope I don't disappoint. After all, I do is aim to please.

STB: I know what you mean. I always got frustrated at meek, little Bella for being the Cullen's doormat. Alice wants to go shopping? Well here's Bella Barbie. Emmett wants fresh meat to tease? Here, take Bella! Edward needs an outlet for his stalkerish tendencies? BELLA! *end rant* Ha, thanks, your comment really was a big motivator to continue. :D

mgill32: Thanks! I think everyone gets exasperated at Edward sometimes. I always had a different image for him, less broody and sullen. Your comment was a big push for me to get off my lazy butt and start clacking away. :)

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With my inherent perfectionist content with the state of the room, I resolutely close my childhood door behind me. The symbolism is not lost on me. I am closing one door and continuing on and such, drabble that would surely make my eccentric English teacher proud. Padding down the dim hallway, I soon find myself in the hustle of early morning in Renee's cozy kitchen.

I find Renee in her endearing pajamas reading some novel on her latest attentions: origami. The table is, in fact, covered in colorful, albeit misshapen, paper cranes. Phil's at the stovetop, flipping mouth-watering pancakes in one hand and sizzling bacon in the skillet held by his other hand. I lean up against the entranceway to the sunny kitchen, and in that moment, I am taken aback by the emotion I feel for these people. The image of the domestic, new couple paints a beautiful picture. This early morning scene just adds more reason to give them space to be, without a meddlesome teenager to keep them grounded. If I had chosen to remain in Phoenix with my mother, then she would be separated from Phil, who had to travel for his job as a minor league baseball player.

My mom looks up from her book suddenly, and her bespectacled, twinkling eyes catch mine. Setting down her tome and removing her reading glasses languidly, Renee sleepily yawns, "M-m-morning, hun. You're looking especially bushy today. What's the o-o-occasion?" Her mouth is contorted into a lazy O and her eyes are closed shut, giving Renee the appearance of a much younger and more girlish woman.

"Well, Mom, I don't know if it has slipped your notice, with your latest craze," nodding towards the direction of the paper art, "but some of us have to be constantly vigilant and bushy, especially when there is traveling to be had," I grandiosely reply in our usual playful banter, making an attempt to flippantly pass off my permanent move as a temporary holiday.

It works and I receive a crooked smile from Renee in addition to Phil's over the shoulder smirk. I pull out the chair nearest to me and flop down gracelessly. Placing a petulant frown on my visage, I jokingly demand, "Phil, where is my breakfast? Are you slacking already?" I suppress my giggles, desperately struggling to remain in character.

Phil takes the challenge in stride and exasperatedly throws his empty palms toward the ceiling while remaining at his station at the stove. "What's a man gotta do to get a break in this house, eh? Work, work, work, slave, slave, slave. I put my sweat and tears into your breakfast and whaddo I get?" His grumbling's all in good play and both my mom and I recognize and appreciate Phil and his efforts.

Renee takes her chance to jump into the action and, with a sly glance in my direction, unfolds herself from her sitting position at the table and swaggers over to her loving husband. Wrapping her long arms around Phil's middle, she tenderly places her chin in the crook of his neck. "Aw, is someone a little upset? Want me to kiss it and make it all better, huh?"

Phil turns his head to the side a little and meets my mom's waiting lips. While being disgustingly cute, the couple's gooey displays of affection and simplistic love go straight to my heart. Call me a closet romantic, but someday I want to be just like them.

Shaking myself from my daydream, I jokingly gag and twist away in my seat from the scene, whining all the while, "Moooom, Phiiil, gross, you guys! Do I have to get the spray bottle out again?"

With an exaggerated pop, the adults' lips pull away and twist into smiles, all the while laughing contentedly. I give a long suffering sigh, throw in the proverbial towel, and unleash the bubbles of laughter that have been fighting to be released.

Finally, after much more teasing and laughs have been had, breakfast is consumed, the dishes washed, and the car loaded. The morning has flew by too quickly and we all secretly realize it, but valiantly attempt to cover it up in case one of us was unaware of the impending separation.

As I sit in the back seat of Phil's SUV, I keep my eyes stealthily fixed upon the two adults in the front seat. I am determined to absorb all of the details of this lovely morning for future use and cherishment. However, in spite of my inward pleading to the universe to slow down time just this once, the car ride goes by quickly and soon I'm dazedly standing at the beginning of the line for security.

It's the farthest that Phil and Renee can accompany me and I grimly acknowledge that all three of us were holding back embarrassing tears. All around us families were hugging and saying their private good byes.

I reluctantly bring my attention back to my mom and Phil. I had been putting off this moment as long as possible, mainly because I am too reserved in my expression of feelings, something that I mentally add to my growing list of habits to improve upon.

Renee pulls me into a bone crushing hug and as the air is violently expelled from my aching lungs, my eyes catch Phil's and we exchange taciturn agreements. All the while, I was half-listening to Mom babbling some nonsensical chatter into my ear.

"_Take care of yourself, kid_," his kind and earnest eyes seem to say. "_We're going to miss you. Call often, you hear?"_

In the short window of Mom's relationship with Phil, Phil and I became close. We didn't play catch in the backyard or anything, but I have learned to regard him as a pillar of strength and an understanding confidant. I can now honestly say that Phil was like a father to me when my own father wasn't there. I could not think of anyone else so deserving of Renee's love, and vice versa for my mother. They, as cheesy as this sounds, completed each other.

Bringing a forced smile to my face, I silently reply, trying to express all my gratitude and affection for the man who was now in charge of my mother's wellbeing.

Finally releasing me, Renee backs up into the comforting embrace of Phil and I feel the air rush back into my body. Renee's head is resting on Phil's chest and her eyes delve into mine, seeking reassurance in them that this is the right choice. Mom absentmindedly swipes at her nose and in that moment my stomach drops and my heart skips a beat. This will be the first time that I'll be parted from my mom for any elongated period of time.

I never really found my niche in school or anything, so the only friend I ever really had was my mom. And now, with the threat of a whole new world of socialization, I realize that I have to step beyond my comfort zone.

But, as I flintily remind myself, I need to buck up and evolve from this Bella. I have made the decision to reinvent myself and how pathetic would it be if I gave up this early in the game.

Renee catches this change, observantly taking in in my tightened jaw and upturned chin, and acceptance sweeps across her face. This is the reassurance she needs. Her eyes are humid, but her smile is beaming. It's hard to make out the details because my vision is blurred and clouded with unshed tears.

With one last glance cast hurriedly over my shoulder, I am jostled into the line for security. People quickly gather behind me in line, and as I strain to see Phil and Renee wave, the bustling mob obscures my view and all I see is the couple's backs as they walk hand in hand for the parking lot.

I turn my head back around and set forth on my journey to… well, myself, as clichéd as that sounds.

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**A/N: **So here's the second installment of New Beginnings. Make sure you give me feedback, okay? Any and all is appreciated.  
Thanks (again),  
cuppycake547


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